The other day I was trying to describe the nature of a closet to my German housemate, Jens.
It's not that there aren't closets in Denmark or Germany. They just aren't the same as closets in the U.S., namely they aren't built-in. A closet over here is what might be considered a cabinet or a wardrobe in the States.
Jens had heard of American walk-in closets and spoke of them with a voice lade with exagerated disdain. The voice he uses whenever he talks about American excess and extravagance. It took me a minute to explain that I wasn't talking about a walk-in closet, just a closet, a normal closet. Then he dropped the attitude and just looked puzzled and attentive as I tried to explain the general size, shape and purpose of a closet. Now how many times is the inside of a closet shown in an American television show or movie? He must have seen them before, right? Maybe not? Does Hollywood not believe in closets? (An aside: As YouTube grows in popularity, more and more people around the world will be able to glimpse what the inside of real bedrooms and homes look like in other places. Yay for YouTube!)
The conversation about the closets got started from our general distate for the kitchen we share. It's a sucky kitchen. It's a box at the end of the hallway. And it has poor ventilation and generally reeks of oil and Chinese food. I was standing in the doorway fiddling with the door. That's right. Our kitchen has a door. When was the last time you saw a kitchen with only one entrance and that entrance had a door? I remember hearing once that there's some Danish law that requires there be two doors between the kitchen and the bathroom, but I don't know if that's true or not. I'm pretty sure my ex's apartment doesn't comply with that rule. I made some comment about how silly it was that our kitchen had a door. Jens thought it was a good thing that it did or else the entire house would smell like Chinese food. That set off the discussion about living spaces and how they're arranged.
Jens thought it was silly that American homes don't have an entrance way, they just open up into the living room. First I had to correct him. Not all American homes look like sitcom sets and in fact, most do have an entrance way. But I had to balance this with the fact that the house I grew up in did not have one. As with all discussions about "the U.S." I had to fight the temptation mention yet again that it depends on what region of the U.S. and I just stuck with the ones with which I was familiar. He wanted to know where we put our coats and shoes. Oh the assumptions in that question! Like assuming that everywhere in the U.S. people wear coats when in fact there is very little coat wearing in large parts of the U.S.. And taking off shoes? After confessing that most Americans don't take their shoes off inside, I then had to explain coat racks and the practice of putting the coats on a bed in one of the bedrooms during a big party. Then of course, there is often a coat closet. Thus began the closet discussion.
The conversations often get me thinking about the diversity of the U.S.. Americans are really comfortable with variety, so much so that we expect it. At the grocery store there will be a minimum of five different brands to choose from for whatever it is you want. And different houses are expected to look different, inside and out. Sometimes light switches are tabs, sometimes they're buttons, sometimes they're dials, sometimes you clap your hands. Door handles can be knobs or turnable handles or handles with buttons. The floor might be hardwood, carpet or tile. Some houses have finished basements, others cellars, others workshops or no basement at all. Sometimes the kitchen, diningroom and livingroom are all one big open spaces and other times they're completely separate boxes. Mail might come through a slot in the door, into a box on the porch or box out on the street with a red flag. All of this variety can exist in one row of houses. Kind of like us.